Becoming a Bar, Bat, or B’nei Mitzvah is a months-long process of learning and making connections to Judaism and our community. Many significant moments in a child’s journey will take place before and after the actual date of their simhah. Nonetheless, the date selection process is an important one, and we make every effort to accommodate each family’s wishes and each child’s skills. Here’s what you should know as your child approaches this milestone and you begin to consider possible dates.
Girls are eligible to become Bat Mitzvah at 12 years and a day, and boys and nonbinary children at 13 years and a day, according to their Hebrew birth dates. Please note that a child’s Hebrew date of birth may fall later than their English birth date; you can check your child’s Hebrew date of birth using HebCal’s date converter if you aren’t sure. We generally try to schedule each simhah reasonably close to each student’s Hebrew birth date. Families can choose to select a later date to accommodate school or family schedules, to coincide with a parashat of family significance, or to allow a child more time to mature or to prepare.
We assign dates from late August to early July, in alignment with the school year cycle. We also consider the length and complexity of the haftarah and Torah readings of each parashat to try to match each student with an appropriate challenge. Some Shabbatot fall on holidays or congregational events and are therefore not ideal for B’nei Mitzvah celebrations.
We are blessed with many B’nei Mitzvah candidates each year, which often requires scheduling two children to celebrate their B’nei Mitzvah on a given Shabbat. While partnered B’nei Mitzvah are common, two children from the same school are not usually paired, unless requested by both families. This helps avoid the scheduling of conflicting celebrations. However, if you are open to it, planning a partnered B’nei Mitzvah with another family that you and your child are close to can be a meaningful and economical way to share your joy.
